apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
