you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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