Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
