What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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