This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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