i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
