OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
