Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dicks are not precious.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
