You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
