you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
