i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize