Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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