SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize