you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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