tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
