a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
