Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. đ
We all love a big dick, but youâre going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar âhow big your dickâ
Thatâs all Iâm saying
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, âAw fuck, Iâm going to feel this in the morning.â
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I pointed at him and said âthere goes mr fuckwadâ
âOn a breakâ is implied when itâs a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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