and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
