I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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