I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
