He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
