There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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