So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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