I got chris browned last night
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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