the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
