remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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