She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
