shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize