i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
