What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
