The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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