i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
