im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
