im drinking this country out of the recession.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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