I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
