Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
