That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
