worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
