I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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