I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
