watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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