I accidentally burped into my bong.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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