What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
