Don't you send me to vm
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
