idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Randomize
