I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
