it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
