I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
