I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
