I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
