yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This is my gift to your gina
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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