I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Come on in and take your pants off
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