before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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