No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize