There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she peed on how many people?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
