Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
