Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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