Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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