So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
