I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
