what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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