Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
