no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
