i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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