Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
