If that was your dad, he is hot
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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