I think i peed on brittanys purse
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
