exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize